Stop making excuses for someone by recording what they actually did, what remains uncertain, and which commitment you will or will not continue. Understanding context does not require accepting an unreliable arrangement indefinitely.
A worked situation: Three missed handoffs
Fictional example. A collaborator repeatedly misses a handoff. You do not know their motives, but can decline another deadline-dependent assignment unless the handoff process becomes workable.
Work through these questions: Three missed handoffs
| Question or field | Fictional completed example |
|---|---|
| Observed pattern? | Three missed handoffs |
| Unknown? | The collaborator's motive |
| Impact? | Your own deadline missed |
| Owned decision? | Do not accept the same dependency |
| Available request? | Agree an earlier evidence checkpoint |
You can act without diagnosing the other person
Record the repeated behavior and its effect on the agreement. Keep what you do not know about their motives separate. Then decide what request, limit, or change in participation is yours to make. Understanding a possible reason does not require accepting every consequence, and choosing a limit does not require proving that the reason is false.