A people-pleasing workbook should let you examine actual requests and practice a different response. Reading about approval is useful, but a workbook also needs space to compare what you meant with what you said.
Practice workbook: Weekend revisions
Completed fictional example — SAMPLE DATA
This example shows how to fill in the form. It is not a real person’s record, a diagnosis, a validated assessment or a promised outcome. Use your own observations and appropriate professional advice for actual health concerns.
| Question or field | Your entry |
|---|---|
| What was requested? | Help with another evening event |
| What did I want to say? | I can help for one hour |
| What did I actually say? | I said I would check my calendar |
| What capacity matters? | One free hour; another commitment afterward |
| What reply will I practice? | I can help from six to seven |
Blank worksheet — copy or print
Copy the form into your own private document or print this page. Replace each “Your entry” cell with your own note; leave anything uncertain clearly marked as unknown. This page does not save or submit your entries.
| Question or field | Your entry |
|---|---|
| What was requested? | Your entry |
| What did I want to say? | Your entry |
| What did I actually say? | Your entry |
| What capacity matters? | Your entry |
| What reply will I practice? | Your entry |
Completed example
| Question or field | Fictional completed example |
|---|---|
| What was requested? | Weekend revisions |
| What did I want to say? | Monday delivery is available |
| What did I actually say? | Sure, tomorrow |
| What capacity matters? | Two existing commitments |
| What reply will I practice? | I can send a revision Monday afternoon |
Session 3 — Make and review a bounded attempt
Completed fictional example — SAMPLE DATA
This example shows how to fill in the form. It is not a real person’s record, a diagnosis, a validated assessment or a promised outcome. Use your own observations and appropriate professional advice for actual health concerns.
| Practice record | Your entry |
|---|---|
| One chosen attempt | Send one short event outline |
| Evidence I will inspect | Whether the coordinator can identify the date and next step |
| What actually happened | A rough outline was sent; one venue fact remained missing |
| Constraint that remains | The venue reply is still needed |
| Revised next decision | Ask for that fact and schedule a bounded revision |
Blank worksheet — copy or print
Copy the form into your own private document or print this page. Replace each “Your entry” cell with your own note; leave anything uncertain clearly marked as unknown. This page does not save or submit your entries.
| Practice record | Your entry |
|---|---|
| One chosen attempt | Your entry |
| Evidence I will inspect | Your entry |
| What actually happened | Your entry |
| Constraint that remains | Your entry |
| Revised next decision | Your entry |
A worked situation: Weekend revisions
Fictional example. A designer accepts a weekend revision despite having promised time to her family. Her practice task is to write the reply she can actually honor, then examine the result without inventing the client's thoughts.
Choose a book that leaves kindness available
For people-pleasing, look for a way to check capacity and express a preference without treating every generous act as a defect. A useful chapter should help revise an actual agreement. EGO fits the question of exchanging a limit for approval; readers needing treatment for persistent distress should not be directed to an authored action metaphor as therapy.