A boundary states what you will do or participate in. Control tries to dictate another person's decisions. A request can be reasonable, but the other person retains a choice and you retain responsibility for your response.
A worked situation: Lower music during the call
Fictional example. You ask a roommate to lower music during a call. You can arrange a quiet location if they refuse; claiming that your boundary makes their entire playlist forbidden exceeds what you control.
Work through these questions: Lower music during the call
| Question or field | Fictional completed example |
|---|---|
| Request? | Lower music during the call |
| Personal limit? | I need a quiet call location |
| My response? | Use the booked room |
| Their choice? | Whether to agree |
| Shared obligation? | Discuss household rules together |